A malevolent cuisine

This is a guest blog post

I have come to enjoy the non-writing aspects of blogging just as much as I enjoy learning the craft. Which is why I have decided to feature other writers on my Blog.

The first of which is by Aik Aleksanich who has a masters degree in philosophy and is currently blogging whilst writing his 1st book. The writing is influenced by philosophers such as Cioran, Schopenhauer, Nietzsche and, as a consequence, the writing is often dark, pessimistic and nihilistic, but importantly, interesting.

A malevolent cuisine

You don’t even know, you have no idea but it’s growing inside you.

Proliferating like cells of cancer – dividing, spreading, making its presence known slowly but surely, just like death.

It feeds off you and your surroundings, not making sense.

The only thing you do is stare at your screen and type away, letting the blue light ruin your sleep, for one more night.

You can feel that you are full but it’s not the breakfast you had this morning. It’s something else filling you up and you can’t point out what.

Everything was calculated, every aspect of your life you had planned out. Like a recipe of a cake.

1 ounce of melted butter, 2 tablespoons of sugar, misunderstood relations and emotions, unpredicted incidents…do not mix – but whisk them well.

And you did everything you should have but the cake did not rise, just like your life did not work out.

You changed. Even physiologically.

You bloated and became full of melancholy that needs to be freed.

Pregnant with things you couldn’t explain, you developed a taste for misfortune and destruction.

The burning sensation of liquor grew on you. Cigarette smoke became the air in your lungs.

Caffeine, lots of caffeine, like it’s a necessity for your rusted heart to start pumping again- with no milk, no sugar- but you were a sweet tooth back then.

Anyway, you write. Not to tell a story or to get laid. Nor to earn money or make a name. You write to stay alive, to empty yourself so you won’t explode like a balloon filled with too much air.

You blame yourself for forgetting.

The smell of someone, you can’t remember, the touch of a skin or the contours of a face.

And writing, like suicide, frees yourself of your own blame.

You write to keep things alive that are fading away.

You write because you can’t do much else.

Visit Aik’s Blog for more writing, or if you’re cooler than me Instagram!

If you would like to do as Aik has go here!

Author: Louis

Spend less than you earn, Invest the surplus, avoid debt. Eat food, not too much, mostly plants

9 thoughts on “A malevolent cuisine”

  1. I, too, get wrapped up in reading other people’s material. It’s similar to having a magazine that covers every topic and style at the tip of your mouse. Very cool writing style you’ve featured- for sure will check it out.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great story! Thanks for shearing.

    I’d say this is a perfect example to share with anyone who is interested in the source of deep need to write.

    Writing can be a job or necessity, but only few regard it as a calling. And usually starts early on. I was 5 when I knew I wanted to have kids and about 9 when I knew I wanted to be a writer. I became a regularly published freelance journalist at 19, but I got kids in my late 30s (I literally had to move across the World to fulfill that dream). When your mental health suffers or even start to deteriorate when you haven’t been writing for a while, you know it’s a calling.

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    1. I am impressed that you knew what you wanted to be at such a young age and actually achieved it, Most of my friends, myself included, have no idea what they want to do with thier lives.

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      1. You know there’s no big science behind it, but as most things that are worthwhile it takes a lot of determination. It sounds simple – listen to your heart – but it’s a skill that you have to learn and practice while being brutally honest with yourself. Once you can feel it – the sensation can become physical like butterflies in your stomach when you’re nervous before a test – you need to follow through. That often means choosing the harder option or even the hardest imaginable in extreme cases. I know you know something about that by choosing lower paid PhD offer over higher paid job. You went with the one that felt right to you. That’s the key. I can guarantee you can find people with great examples and anecdotes favoring both decisions. None of that matters because none of those situations were exactly the same as yours. I’m proponent of gathering as much information as practically possible before making big decisions. That always helps to inform the final decision. But at the end, when facts one one side don’t clearly outweigh the other, you have to go with your gut. If you learn to trust it, you will be better off in a long run. Even though sometimes it takes years to realize you made the right decision – for you.

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