The light is fading fast, and this coffee is getting cold if only I had spent more time planning I wouldn’t be in this mess.
Hunched over the mechanical keyboard, trying to put words on the screen with the intention of contributing to an ever-expanding stream of content that provides no inherent value. Not only is the premise long forgotten, but the mundane nature of discipline bleeds out all of the interesting.
The coffee-shop smell of this room still isn’t strong enough to build a narrative on, and she, the only thing that matters is too distant to see. Ever since I could remember, she is the only thing that mattered. She is the only thing on my mind, the only thing I write about and the only thing that holds my attention any more.
Its Wednesday, I had spent all of Monday weighing out samples and then adding the highly aggressive organic solvent to extract the chlorophyll from my plants. I switch on the machine only to discover it has given up. Perhaps I should have secured several different machines for every experiment I do; given the notorious temperamental behaviour of scientific equipment, I should have known.
Another week, another chance squandered. I am now in the throngs of a back and forth with the owner of a new one of these machines, hopefully by Tuesday I will have access. Now I am stuck at home and out of action, with nothing left to do but analyse the data that I collected well over six months ago.
I have a conference to attend tomorrow, which requires waking up at 5 am, I didn’t try and get a decent education so that I could wake up at 5 am! Either way, someone from the lab group has to go, and the conference is closest to my area of study – not close enough to warrant the couple hundred pounds I am going to have to spend to get there. With these delays and distractions, she seems further away than ever..
…
Its late at night at kings cross station, and as expected the conference was not worth my time. However, I did see what the people look like who have always known what they want to do with there life and then spent 20 years pursuing it. Needless to say, they make us normal people pale in comparison.
Time to catch this train, and get some sleep, after all, I have a presentation to give tomorrow.
I had fun with this one! Someone in the comments suggested I try and do one of my normal posts in a noir style. I thought that my writing was getting stale and I needed a challenge; this is why this post exists.
It has a nice depressive vibe. I like it.
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I liked it very much. This might sound a bit strange but it felt conversational in a solitary sort of way. Well done 🌷
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Thanks Ellie, I was quite out of my comfort zone with this!
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Well you wrote it splendidly!
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It has a nice depressive vibe. I like it!
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This was so fluid and captivating ❣️
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It’s much more interesting to read. Just as you do experiments for your PHD, you can bring experimentation and exploration to all aspects of your life. Things, they will continually be of interest and fresh.
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i like experimenting when writing too. Like, Valley Girl talk vs Gothic, or past tense vs present, or 1st person vs 3rd. Anyway, your post held my interest, very nice!
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I read your woes but each of them should be a joy. You are experiencing education in real time and are fortunate to suffer so! 5am is life! You are living! So much enjoyment yet to experience. So many people less fortunate. Keep at it. Be positively happy in your journey. 🙂
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I just want to reassure you that I am generally happy, I just thought that noir and depression were good bedfellows. Maybe I missed the mark, but it was a 1st attempt 🙂
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Hey TM, quite a depressive read. I’m with Annette Rey above, on the content. You are living, alive and a keep-at-it. For a writer, every aspect is an experience. Every experience can be mined for its perceptual qualities if not the event itself.
Noir is a style of “crime fiction featuring hard-boiled cynical characters and bleak sleazy settings.” This definition from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/noir .
If you want to write noir and you are still waiting for replacement machines, try fictionalizing this post. Make the narrator a cynical hard-boiled scientist. Lay a bleak sleazy setting over your customary laboratory.
Have fun!
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Please help me to learn obout poem
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Loved every word🙂
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Different tone, I noticed straightaway.
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I dig it!
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The noir style is really cool, reminded me of sin city !
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Good job, but for a few red circles I’d insert if a pen would work in here. I like the style and it leaves me with questions.
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Thanks for the comment, Where would you put the circles if you don’t mind sharing?
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I saw a misspelled “there” where it should have been “their” or “they’re”, but at the moment I can’t go reread. In a hurry over here, but would love to reread later!
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When you mentioned Kings Cross Station, it reminded me of Harry Potter, hehe, sorry I’m not a writer, just a reader and I have a wandering mind that doesn’t like to be contained to one thing at a time 🙂 But I enjoyed :).
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