Basking in the tranquility of the post-hand-in day.
The relative care-free feeling that I am now enjoying is most welcome. It has been several months since I have felt like this. Finally, I can relax. On Wednesday I handed in my one year report, and now things are in motion that are out of my control. I have to wait until my transfer viva where I will be quizzed on my report for a while, and then my examiners will decide if I can continue or not. As I do not know when this day will be, I can relax for a while.
Although, this state of relaxation is relative, and I cannot rest on my laurels as I need to take delivery of my plants for my next experiment. This is by far my least favourite part of doing a PhD, by ‘this’ I mean organisation. I have to or get to, organise it all my self which is tedious, to say the least.
I am in a constitutional quandary. Back when I was younger and taking any job I could find, I absolutely hated having to do things that other people told me to at timings they decided, a.k.a a job. Now I have almost complete freedom to do as I please I am having to rethink my philosophy on this. The organisation of my work is something I would outsource if I had the budget for it.
In fact, having thought about it a little longer, I need to organise things because my PhD dictates I have to. Therefore, I never really had freedom in the first place.
Despite passing a milestone this week, my life hasn’t really changed; this is a phenomenon that is banal to point out, but I shall do it anyway. After all, It’s all content. So every time in my life I have passed a significant milestone, such as completing my undergraduate degree, I had expected a significant change in my life when passing this milestone; however, life continues almost exactly the same. You would think I would learn from this and not expect big life events to change things too drastically. When I complete this PhD, it will be a day like any other, and there will be no difference between pre and post PhD life, although it will feel significant in the run-up to this point. I think the word for this phenomenon is anti-climax.
Apart from the milestone, this week has been fairly standard. I have been continuing all the experiments I have been talking about for the last few months, and planning what I am going to be doing with the void that has been left by the departure of the report. I am going to fill this void with more writing and more statistics. This sounds dull, and that is because it is dull. However, I need to get better with multivariate statistics as my PhD is essentially an exercise in collecting and analysing multivariate data. And I need to write as I need to publish, lest I perish.
I have a paper that Is maybe 20% completed that I would like to make some headway on. I am sure many of you have bits of writing that are nowhere near complete, but as a completionist, I only have one piece that is incomplete. And as you can Imagine this is awfully unsettling.