Note: this was written three months ago
The rains have come after three weeks, and it genuinely feels novel. Yes, rain feels novel in England; this is the first time in my almost twenty-eight years in residence that rain has felt like a gift. It is not a closely guarded secret that England is not a garden-of-Eden-esque summer paradise; although that is the image we give out in all of our media.
The rains have come, and it feels like a metaphor for my PhD. The threshold has been exceeded, and now it is a constant grinding run all the way to the end. Long gone are the days where I can wake up and do the bits of work I like, and now I have to dig in and do the work I have put off.
It has put off for a few reasons that main being that I don’t enjoy it, the second being that I am not good at it which affects my enjoyment of it. It is writing a scientific report. The practical reality is that I have to sum up all of the things I have been doing over the year in a format that I find hard to write for people that will never read it.
They will skim read it and use their judgement as to whether or not it is of the standard someone in my position should produce. By the time you read this, I will have undertaken the exam I need to take to progress. If I fail, you will know by the sudden drop off of PhD related posts, and if I pass you will see a few upbeat posts that slowly degrade back the mean over time. Plus, I will probably tell you as it would be one of the highlights.
The pressure of having to produce this report has focused my mind slightly; I have realised that I do too many things. I Wonder if you’re anything like me dear reader. I do a lot of different hobbies, and every few months one gets added, and one falls off the list.
The problem with this is that I have lost of things that I need to do each day so that I can please myself and feel as if I am moving forward. For example, I dance, I run, I lift weights, I blog, I read, I code, I play video games, I do yoga, and I have a girlfriend.
All of these things require varying amounts of dedicated time. I have realised that I need to go deeper into my hobbies rather than wider! I should get good at a few of them rather than keeping a bunch of different hobbies that is forever growing. I think if I had thought about this at the start of the year I would have never started a blog, as it takes a lot of time.
This week I have spent a lot of time in the lab doing mundane, boring, tedious activities that would have been interesting if I weren’t the one doing the work. A few years ago, seven actually, I was working in a warehouse hating my life wishing I was doing something I thought was meaningful.
Skip forward seven years, and now I am in a lab doing research that has not been done before and contributes to mankind’s greater knowledge, and I feel the same as I did seven years ago. It is all part of figuring out how to deal with life I suppose. For any of my older readers, do you feel as if you have life figured out? And at what age did you figure it out?
As the rains have come, it is time for me to get back to my first-world-middle-class-centre-left-metropilitan-elite problems.